This is just between you and me. Any third party is not supposed to get to know…
you told me we can just love each other by heart and it would be enough. You know I am not young anymore that I can do that. Despite I appreciate this alot but I can t do. i am too old for that. I’ve got to have a heart for my family for my future husband and not for other man. I am afraid of hurt you know that.
You told me not to lie to myself, but I dont. I know myself I just cannot show it. You told me not to tortur myself but I have to. I have no other good choice. We are adult we should be able to control ourselves. I told you not to walk further because there’s a big hole in front of us. You said it’s not about the hole, but it’s about our target. it’s about us to want to get through the hole. we can always do something about it. You’re right. you are absolutely right.
I dont wanna know how strong your feeling is, I dont wanna pity you. You told me love is like planting. First it needs to put a seed in the ground and water. The seed starts to grow then it need more watering and care to survive. But I dont want any watering here. Let stop and let it die here… yes let it die.
Now I miss you even I promised not to miss you. I do think of you more than five minuttes aday and I cant let you know. I cant tell you I miss you. I want to be in your arms, want you to lift me up. and this time I want you to be in my arms too. I wish i could let myself blow by the wind of my emotion. I wish I were not that good girl. I feel good when I close my eyes at night and hear your voice in my ears. I love you voice. I love your imagination. I love the way you care about me. when I got in my bed I wait unpatiently for your call. I do miss you. I love it when you call me dear.
I know you’re sad. I am sorry i cant tell you anything about myself, because it would be a mistake if i do that. You said to love someone means to wish that someone a happiness. you are right. I wish you happiness and success in you life. For you and me we cannot be more that just friends… dont love me more I cant take it, even though there’s sth in me that wish you do that, No, who would do that for me when I myself dont even make a move.
life is complicated
yes life is complicated and so is love. thanks for dropping by
i start like to read your blog since the first time i come across, and i finished all your articles by just few days… still i browse your page almost everyday.. and read some old romantic article.. you know what every times i read your article, it remind me of old memories.. too old to remember, but i still hold his name. i hate myself for thinking of him, yet i still browse your page, just like i can’t stop missing him.
Sometimes it’s not a bad thing if you have someone to think of. It’s worth if you have no one to miss. Be proud for what you’ve been through, even good or bad. It means you have grown up. It’s a part of your life, may be a beautiful one. There are always things in life to need to learn, from somebody else’s experience and from yourself . Dont be afraid to live your life to the fullest.