Love??

what is love?

when we claim that it’s love that we have for someone. Are we correct?

Sometthing to ponder upon..

Are your palm sweaty?
Is your heart raising and is your voice cuaght within your chest?  It isn’t love, it’s like.

You can’t keep your eyes off them. It isn’t love it’s lust.
Are you proud and eager to show them off? It isn’t love it’s luck.
Do you want them bc u know they r there? It isn’t love it’s loneliness.
r u there bc everyone wants? It isn’t love it’s loyalty.
r u there bc they kissed or held ur hand? It isn’t love it’s low confidence.
do u stay for their confessions of love bc u dont want to hurt them? It isn’t love it’s pity.
do u belong to them bc their sight make u heart skip a beat? It isn’t love it’s infatuation.
do u pardon their fualt bc u care about them? It isn’t love it’s friendship.
Do u tell then everyday they are the only one u think of? It isn’t love it’s lie.

Does ur heart ache and break when they’re sad?
Do you cry for their pain, even when they are strong?
Do their eyes see your true heart and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Do you stay because a blinding incomprehansive mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there?

Do u accept their faults, because they’re a part of who they are?
Are you attracted to others but stay with them faithfully without regret?
would you allow them to leave you not bc they want but bc they have to?
would you give them your heart, your life your death?          Then it’s love.

if love is painful and tortures us so why do we love?
why is it all we search for in life? this pain this agony?
why is it all we long for? this torture this powerful death of self? why?
Because it’s love.
it’s such an addiction that even people who dont have love wish to experience it and share it.

‘Why Not? ‘

A short and cool poem.. if you read it with passion

“Why Not” Love me! Why not do that sometimes? How about trying to be me? I’m sick of rhymes Can’t you see? I’m ready to say goodbye To all my hurt and sadness I’m something you deny God is my witness Why ain’t I loved? Cared for? Why? Why not?By Latedra Ellis

My world

What does that word mean? I didnt even know the existence of this word. I heard it very first time when he called me that. I understood what it means… When a person call you like that you can’t get angry with that person, even that person broke up with you.

To the world you are just one person, but to one person you might be the world. that sentence makes me think of that word.

He held my hand and asked ‘Do you think I am like a small boy sometimes‘ ? yes , ‘ sometimes I am like a very serious old man right? ‘ yes, ‘ and sometimes you find me romantic?‘ yes, ‘but sometimes I act like a heartless person right?‘ yes. I was just looking in his eyes smiling and answered yes yes yes yes like a powerless child. ‘ So I am everything…’ , he said.

May be he meant anything else, or may be he knew that he means everything to me and he was just playing charming to me. I hate the way he did that… a man cannot be that lovely. In my heart he ’s so nice, so lovely , so humble… but the truth is a man cannot be that good. So that’s not the truth, not the reality. He means everything to me, he’s my world, when I am by his side I don’t need anything else… that’s in my heart… in reality it’s not like that. 

       

letter 4

I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you  I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu I miss you I MISS YOU i miss you I mIsS yOu 

Friday

It’s already friday. I begin to look back what I have done through the week. It has been a good week as there was one great thing happening. Though, I havent done much, it’s not that there are so many things for me to do right now.

Getting up in the morning and saw his mail saying good morning to me… hmm it gave me a smile on my lips. At least I know there’s someone thinking of me. what a selfish thinking! Then I think, can the closeness make me forget the bitterness? I won’t forget, but it will make me think less about it. There were no ‘dear’ in the mail, and I didnt reply ‘i miss you too’. Of course I do, he knows that for sure, why do I have to show my more of weakness. Now I’m waiting for his other mail hehee.  

Friday! work at the Sushi bar this evening, what a clue! I’ve got a call late at night, and it said ‘ come to work tomorrow’ , I was half asleep, ok ok. So, first week back home I’ve got a ‘job’ , not so bad. I will have my first self-earned income for this year, hheee. 

Stand by your side - Celine Dion

If you listen to this song and you tear… hmm I guess you must be in love

I cry and you comfort me
I’m lost and you hear my scream
So it’s hard to watch you falling
When you run so deep in me
You live in me

Gonna stand by your side now
Let me kiss all your tears away
You can stay in my arms now
And I know I can make you believe again

I walk but you can run through fire
I search for reasons and baby you inspire
But I know somebody hurt you
And I know you really need a friend
Well you can take my hand

Gonna stand by your side now
Let me kiss all your tears away
You can stay in my arms now
And I know I can make you believe again

So when you’re feeling like you can’t go on
Don’t you know
You never walk alone no
And you live in me

Gonna stand by your side now
Let me kiss all your tears away
You can stay in my arms now
And I know I can make you believe again

I’m gonna stand, stand by your side
Kiss all your tears away tonight
I’m gonna stand, stand by your side
Make you believe again
I wanna look in your eyes now and see you smiling again

 

Almost Happy

I wanted to write and tell him that I am so happy today beacuse I’ve got a good news. I didnt write him. In stead, I sit and tear. I miss him and I should not. I havent heard from him today, I didnt know I would miss him this way. Dear do you miss me at all?

I called mum and told the good news. She was so happy. Yes there is only her who shares my joy. she was alone, daddy went to province because one of our relatives passed away. Pity her nass.

Now waiting for everything to be done then I’ll be a happy girl. I want to be back to cambodia and keep on relaxing hehee enjoying my days. I have no mood to work now. I get irritated when someone ask me about work.

letter 3

You know dear, today I got a woderful news. I’ve been waiting for this for years. Now I get what I have longed for. I wish you were here, so you could me see glad, and I could hold and hug you, celebrate the joy with you. I’ve missed you alot today, especially right now when it’s almost time to bed and I have not heard from you even a word. I do miss you, you know that? my bad man.

I found it

I’ve been looking for sth for days I coldnt find it, and it is kind of urgent. Today I found it and I feel like I should have tried harder, should have been more positive so I could find it earlier. I am good at wasting times.. I can be called jol msiet. Am I? yes I am.

I  talked to him again, I couldnt stop. or there were no reason not to. He didnt comfort me, he didnt say sorrry often enough and now he acts like nothing happened. HMM what a cold heart. I made him think I forgave him everything, but I cant forget he way he treated me. He told me not to think about him, but I dont. I just miss him sometimes and I pity him.

wish to get my only thing done, God please help and forgive my carelessness! please dont purnish me this time please!

Today one of my friends lifted me up to guess how much i weight. He did it several times. He kissed my pand coz he hit my head with a book. Cool ! all this with no feeling, see? I can do it too. well khmer guy will never do that, am i right? He even paid for my lunch.

He was nice to me coz he wanted me to help with his assignment, damn it!

letter 2

I just got up. I had you in my thought, wondering where you were and what you were doing, if you had me in your mind. I have sth in mind i dont know who I can share. Even my mum I dare not talk with her about that, so afraid I make her  tear. I wish I could tell you everything but I can’t. I dont know if you really care about me. I dont know if you wish to share things with me, and all this is not your fault. It is not your fault that you dont feel anything.